


I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes

by Daily_Scenarios



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 05:13:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20204293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daily_Scenarios/pseuds/Daily_Scenarios
Summary: Keeping the truth from Aaron taking its toll on RobertOr...missing scene from Friday's episode (9th August)





	I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes

Aaron had no idea... he thought they were gonna be fine. And who was Robert to destroy that thought? To destroy them? He couldn't do it. So he kept his mouth shut. He knew one day he's gonna have to come clean.... but not today. Today was about family. Today they had Seb, and Aaron was smiling, and Robert's heart shattered all the same. He tried to ignore the guilt, tried to put it rest, just for one day. Just for a little while. He wanted to enjoy their company, he wanted to.... just be there. For as long as he could. Because he knew.... he knew that this won't end well. And he wanted to make the most of it while he could. Selfish? Yes. But he always had Aaron's best interests at heart..... at least it's how he saw it.

“I need a shower.” - sighed Aaron when they got home. They played outside all day, and Seb got a little carried away with the sandcastles. Half of the entire sandpit was on Aaron by the time they headed home. It's because he was right there next to him, helping him building all kinds of towers. He even went to get some water, so it could stick properly. Robert just watched them in awe and when Aaron asked him to join, he just laughed telling them he had no intention to look like a little monster. The truth was, he was afraid that he might break down in front of them. He was on the verge of crying for days now, and he didn't know how long he could hold up this front.

“Alright, we're gonna be here.” - he smiled looking at Seb – “Then you're having a bath as well mister.” - he told his son.

“Maybe I should wait with mine then, half of it will be landing on my shirt anyway.” - smiled Aaron as he ruffled Seb's hair. The little boy just grinned at him, fully knowing what a mischief he's been all day.

“No, you go ahead, then we can go to the pub for dinner.”

“You okay?” - he asked and for a moment Robert panicked. - “You seem … off.”

“Yeah, no I'm just a bit tired that's all.” - he shrugged and Aaron believed him. - “Go on, have a shower, because getting this one clean will be a challenge... and a job for two.” - he laughed, hoping his voice was convincing enough.

“Okay sounds great.” - said Aaron before he disappeared upstairs. Robert dropped the smile as soon as he was out of sight and took the opportunity to turn to Seb again. Just like he did earlier.

“You remember our deal right?” - he asked pinching his cheek – “It's very important Seb. I trust you to hold this promise, alright?” - he said before he wiped his tears away. He couldn't start crying. Not now. - ”He loves you so very much. Just like I do. And I know that you two will always be there for each other, right? And when you'll get a little brother or sister, he's gonna need you to help him. To be the big brother. Sounds fun, right? You're gonna make both of us proud I know.” - he smiled kissing his head.

* * *

That night, Robert was incapable of putting Seb down. He wanted to soak up every moment, to store them all in the back of his mind. To remember it like that's all that mattered, like the bad stuff never happened. He wanted to remember how it was. So he pulled Seb closer to his chest, swaying slightly, hoping he's not doing this for the last time.

“Hey, is he still awake?” - asked Aaron standing in the doorway.

“Just about.” - whispered Robert. Seb's eyes were closed, he knew he was probably already asleep, but he couldn't put him down.

“You can bring him over you know.” - offered Aaron. - “Just until he's asleep. Then I get him back.”

“No, I... I just stay with him for a bit. Won't be long”

“Come on, it's late.... get to bed, I don't like being there alone.” - he said and Robert turned away for a second to get himself together. Aaron couldn't see his pain. He had to control himself.

“Alright, okay.” - he said finally. They went back to their room and Robert got Seb on the bed right in the middle. The little boy turned to his tummy his little legs spread across the bed before he kicked a few times. He was definitely Robert's son. Both Robert and Aaron chuckled at the moment before they climbed to bed. They were on their sides, both of them turning towards Seb... just looking at him.

“He had fun today.” - said Aaron with a soft smile on his face as he brushed the hair out of Seb's face.

“Yeah, he tired himself out.”

“He was dead excited to use the big boy's toys.” - said Aaron remembering how Seb's eyes lit up as they told him he can climb all the way up on the monkey bars. Obviously, they kept a close eye on him, just in case, but they shouldn't be worried. Seb had a great time.

“Yeah, but I think his favorite is still the slide.”

“Oh yeah, definitely.” - said Aaron smiling as they looked at each other. It was difficult to tell Seb it was time to go home, and that he had to say bye to the slide for the day. He even cried a little, but Aaron bribed him with some ice cream and cuddles, and just like that he was smiling again.

“You're a great dad Aaron.” - said Robert out of the blue. Aaron didn't know what to say, so he remained silent. - “You're so good with him.” - continued Robert as he reached out to brush his hand against Aaron's. Their fingers interlocked and they just lay there, without saying another word. They didn't have to.

“Think he's asleep?” - asked Aaron – “Because I'm not really that tired...” - he said leaving his sentence hanging there in the open, and Robert knew what he meant. He tried to give him a smug smile as best as he could, so Aaron wouldn't be suspicious. - “I'll be right back, just gonna put him in his bed. ” - he said to Robert before he scooped Seb up in his arms. - “Don't you dare fall asleep.”

“Don't worry, I'll wait.” - said Robert, and he intended to keep that promise. Because he had no idea when it's gonna be ripped away from him. He didn't know how many more times he can hold Aaron before he has to let him go. He didn't know how long left of his future and that's why he couldn't afford to miss out on any opportunity. It was another night he's gonna have to put into one of those imaginary storages of his mind where all his happiness was. The biggest one of them with a name that broke Robert's heart just a little bit with every passing day. A name, a person who changed everything. A man he never wanted to leave but knew that one day he had to. A man who stood right there at the door with the brightest smile on his face. Aaron. _His_ Aaron.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry I have many many feelings about this


End file.
